Lessons in Self Love

A number of years ago I was being mentored by a beautiful spiritual teacher who was helping me heal from the past and develop my psychic gifts. Our connection was heartfelt and we became great friends. I trusted her and believed she would never hurt me.

The relationship ended when her partner (also a spiritual teacher) threatened to kill me and my family. She was there when he said it and she told me she needed to stay with him until their work together was complete. I didn’t understand. I severed the relationship and lived in fear for months. How could someone working for the Light threaten my life? This man had gained my trust and met my family. It took me quite some time to reclaim my power and decide to move forward with my spiritual journey.

I now find myself in the role of mentor and teacher. I was put to the test two days ago when this man contacted me via email. I felt a tightness in my chest and my breath became shallow. All he asked was how I was doing.

When I allowed myself to listen to my heart, I realized I wasn’t afraid of him. I felt a deep sense of relief.

I sent a brief reply and asked if he was working for the Light. What my ego wanted was an apology…for him to ask for my forgiveness. There was none.

But there was a gift. Coming fully into the realization of my ability to choose Love over Fear. For myself. I get to choose, no one has the power to control me. Loving myself is the Last Lesson my teacher said. Now I have what she was trying to teach me all along.

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Drowning….

Having been completely driven by my desire to transform, I have welcomed the FIRE of the Divine Masculine. A burning aggressive purging. This burning ceased weeks ago.

The current influx of Divine Feminine energy has me wondering. I’m wondering about my resistance.

Creator VS Creative

When I realized the burning ceased, I began to notice the slow pull of a wave like motion. Gently losing my bearings. Teary eyed and forgetful. I attempted resting in the arms of Divine Mother but struggled and grew impatient….wanting to get down and DO something. I tend to resist the powerful tide of emotion as it appears unsafe. How can I create from this space? How do I move into this energy and surrender to the unknown.

I recognize the fear of drowning …of being completely immersed in the darkness.

Ceremony VS Surrender

As we head into the next few days I believe there will be an Unfolding. Perhaps even an Unraveling or an Unveiling. Whatever appears I will do my best not to resist. In that moment I am open to receive. I will stand with an open heart and open hands ready for whatever is next.